Five years into his second marriage Chaz Green Cowboys Jersey , Jim was so frustrated with the haphazard way Cathy seemed to handle her finances that he was seriously considering divorce. Cathy wouldn't consider joint counseling, so he hired me to help him sort through the issues and make a decision.
Jim & Cathy were both well-paid professionals, and had a clear agreement to share expenses. Jim believed that Cathy wasn't really keeping the agreement. He gathered evidence to prove his point.
* Cathy kept forgetting her wallet or running short of cash, manipulating him into paying for all of their entertainment expenses.
* When he asked her to pay him back, but she never seemed to get around to it. He felt ashamed to make an issue of repayment Byron Jones Cowboys Jersey , so he usually let it drop.
* Cathy did pay her share of household bills, but Jim was so worried about her "flakiness" that he frequently questioned her anxiously about whether she was up to date.
* At one point, after hearing her talk about wanting a new car, he carefully researched which new car would be best for her. He was appalled when she bought a more expensive, sportier model.
* He urged her to keep careful records of her personal expenditures and offered to help her review them. She refused angrily and they had frequent arguments about money.
When I asked Jim what he did to contribute to the problem Maliek Collins Cowboys Jersey , Jim recognized that he was the one who started the arguments by frequently asking Cathy about what she did with her money.
When I asked what he was trying to accomplish by questioning her, Jim first said he just wanted her to be responsible. When he dug a little deeper, he realized that he wanted to be sure she could take care of herself financially and not become dependent on him.
He also recognized that frequently questioning her was not accomplishing his goal. In fact, it was making the problem even worse.
Jim also discovered that he had mixed feelings about whether a husband should be financially responsible for his wife. This ambivalence kept him from discussing the only real problem-that Cathy was breaking her financial agreement to share entertainment costs.
I asked Jim if his unexpressed resentment about the broken agreement might be connected to his judgment that she was irresponsible about money. He already knew that the "evidence" didn't really support his judgment. Cathy was responsible for everything EXCEPT sharing entertainment expenses. The connection made sense to him.
Jim still didn't feel ready to confront Cathy directly about the broken agreement, but he decided to experiment with not asking her about how she managed her own money. He also decided to tell Cathy in advance whether or not any particular entertainment activity would be his treat.
A month after he started his experiment Xavier Woods Cowboys Jersey , Jim noticed that the arguments had almost completely disappeared. The bills continued to get paid, and Cathy was occasionally volunteering to treat him to dinner and other activities.
He decided to stay married.
Remember: Almost everything you do is done for a reason, but sometimes you have to look below the surface to discover the really important hidden reason for your behavior.
Author's Resource Box
Laurie Weiss, Ph.D., internationally known therapist Ryan Switzer Cowboys Jersey , coach and author, has been helping people create conscious, loving relationships for over 30 years. See Being Happy Together: How to Create a Fabulous Relationship With Your Life Partner in Less Than an Hour a Week at
Award season has arrived. The votes are in, and on Monday, the first of the major awards will be announced on MLB Network.he 2016 Rookie of the Year finalists were always going to have tough time living up to the crop introduced last season. By all measures Jourdan Lewis Cowboys Jersey , 2015 was the “Year of the Rookie,” and it was going to be impossible to replicate that level of talent. The names may not be as deep this time around, but 2016 features one rookie who is also an MVP candidate. It was still a promising year for youngsters.Over in the National League, Los Angeles Dodgers shortstop Corey Seager seems like a lock to take home the hardware. The 22-year-old turned in a phenomenal year, hitting .308.365.512 over 687 plate appearances. He’s not just a Rookie of the Year finalist Chidobe Awuzie Cowboys Jersey , but he’s also in the running for the National League MVP award. That should tell you all you need to know about the NL race.Seager’s teammate, Kenta Maeda had a nice year, but can’t match Seager’s numbers. Had Washington Nationals outfielder Trea Turner been up all season, he may have had a chance to threaten Seager. Turner’s numbers are excellent, but his lack of playing time hurts.In the American League Taco Charlton Cowboys Jersey , things are far more uncertain. New York Yankees catcher Gary Sanchez exploded onto the scene in August and popped 20 home runs while carrying the Yankees down the stretch. Going strictly by the numbers, Sanchez has a strong case, but his lack of playing time could cost him votes.He’ll be opposed by Cleveland Indians outfielder Tyler Naquin and Detroit Tigers pitcher Michael Fulmer. Naquin surprised many with a strong season for Cleveland, but was used mostly as a platoon player. His all-around numbers are solid and he received 100 more at-bats than Sanchez. The 23-year-old Fulmer posted a 3.06 ERA over 159 innings. He had a stretch beginning in late May where he was unhittable over 10 starts. He may be a the bigger threat to Sanchez.That’s just a quick overview. Let’s take a closer look at each player and examine their story, stats and cases for winning. The winners will be officially announced Monday in an MLB Network .